A friend sent me this and i thought it was funny

9 WORDS WOMEN USE




(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.



(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.



(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.



(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!



(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)



(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ..... that will bring on a 'whatever').



(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!


(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Show this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.

Show this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true

Unknown "My girl" Trusting - 15 years, 5 months, 26 days ago

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "
Unknown "My girl" Trusting - 15 years, 10 months, 19 days ago

Sent by a friend but I am reposting it because it makes sense to me.

here is the repost

A guy wrote this in his myspace. and it should make you think...

I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, big boobs, round booty, long legs, sexy lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. Girls prefer being called beautiful instead of hott or sexy. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because its true and you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys.

Girls who agree repost as every girls dream guy. and to the few guys who have balls and agree repost this.
Unknown "My girl" Trusting - 15 years, 10 months, 19 days ago

A Kiwi and a Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Kiwi says to the Aussie 'If I was to sneak over to your
house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?'
'The Aussie crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head,
and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, 'Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even.'
Unknown "My girl" Trusting - 15 years, 10 months, 26 days ago

Morning S.E.X

Brian woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed.

His wife, Lisa, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, Brian called his little boy into the room and asked him to
'take this note to your beautiful Mummy.'

The note read:

The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
To Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Lisa, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to 'take this to your silly daddy.'

The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.

Brian read the note and quickly scribbled a reply.

Then, he asked his son to take it back to 'the lady in the kitchen.'

The note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.


Laughing, Lisa answered the note and then asked her son to take this to 'the poor dude upstairs.'

The note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
Do It By Hand !
Unknown "My girl" Trusting - 15 years, 11 months, 1 day ago