A man finally makes it to Las Vegas and says to himself what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so he takes it apon himself to get a hooker. After looking at several he sees the one he wants and walks up to her to negotiate. " How much for a handjob?" he inquires. The hooker responds " Two thousand dollars". The man replies " two grand, you've got to be kidding me". The hooker than says " See that Dennys down the street". The man says " yes". The hooker then says " I own it, and you know why, because I give a handjob thats worth two grand" Astonished, the man reluctanly agrees, so they proceed to a hotel. After the deed the man is astonished, it truly was the best handjob he's ever had. Now curious, he asks " how much for a blowjob?". The hooker replies " five thousand". Taken back buy the price, the man says " five grand, for a blowjob, you can't be serious". The hooker than says " see that casino we passed on the way in". The man says yeah. " Well I own that casino, and you know why" the hooker states, " cause I give a blowjob thats worth five grand" Now inquisitive, and still recovering from the best handjob he's ever had, he agrees. After the job, the man laid motionless on the bed and said " holy fuck, that was amazing, I got to ask, how much for some pussy"? The hooker stands up and states "ten grand". " Ten grand, now your joking right?" The hooker proceeds to the window and draws back the curtains and looks out. The man states " you own Las Vegas?" The hooker replies " I would, if I had a pussy"
Mike "Smilie" Inspired - 15 years, 8 months, 18 days ago

Three people are standing in front of a locked gate that leads to a village. An alcoholic, an acidhead and a pothead. The alcoholic steps up to the locked door and says " lets break the fucking door down", the acid head then steps up to the door and says " lets float through the keyhole", then the pothead steps up and says " lets sit down and wait till tommorow".
Mike "Smilie" Inspired - 15 years, 8 months, 18 days ago