Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.
Vern Smith "Mr. Stash" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 4 days ago

�But Most Of All, Remember!
�
�A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
Vern Smith "Mr. Stash" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 15 days ago

�Thoughts for the weekend:
�
�Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
�If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
�Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Vern Smith "Mr. Stash" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 15 days ago

�OLD IS WHEN:
�
�1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
�2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
�3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
�4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
�5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Vern Smith "Mr. Stash" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 15 days ago

�SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
�
�1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
�2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on�them.
�3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
Vern Smith "Mr. Stash" Playful - 16 years, 5 months, 15 days ago