A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
Unknown "Boots (NFS)" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 13 days ago

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods?
A: I'll never do that for two bucks again.

Unknown "Boots (NFS)" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 13 days ago

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat...... He says "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here try these on.' So, she did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.' So I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," says Mike. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his honeymoon, Mike takes off his pants and says to Karen, "Here try these on." So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me." So Mike says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want
you to ever forget that."

Then Karen takes off her pants and hands them to Mike and says, "Here you try on mine." So he does and says, "I can't get into your pants." So Karen says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will."
Unknown "Boots (NFS)" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 13 days ago

Me and You are Friends.......
You Fight, I Fight........
You Hurt, I Hurt........
You Cry, I Cry.........
You Jump Off a Bridge....
I'm Gonna Miss Your Dumb ass
Unknown "Boots (NFS)" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 13 days ago

POEM OF THE DAY FOR WOMEN

Inside me,
There's a thin Woman
crying to get out-
But I can usually shut the
Bitch up with Cookies
Unknown "Boots (NFS)" Sparkling - 16 years, 8 months, 13 days ago