Today I answered a knock on the door, to be confronted by a young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.' he said.

'Go away!' I replied. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' With that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.

'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, I'll eat the remainder.'
I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a bloody good appetite because they cut off my electricity this morning.
Unknown "Mmm ... choccy!" Loving - 16 years, 2 months, 10 days ago

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."
Unknown "Mmm ... choccy!" Loving - 16 years, 6 months, 14 days ago

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Unknown "Mmm ... choccy!" Loving - 16 years, 6 months, 14 days ago

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Unknown "Mmm ... choccy!" Loving - 16 years, 6 months, 14 days ago

David Gilmore, I need say no more!
Unknown "Mmm ... choccy!" Loving - 16 years, 6 months, 16 days ago