Dear Vanessa,
When you've been knocked down in life, just getting from
one day to the next seems to take every ounce of energy
you have. So how do you find the extra strength you need
to pick yourself up and move forward?
First of all, quit focusing on what knocked you down in
the first place. Don't hold onto old stories. You already
know what happened to you the first time your heart was
broken or the first time a parent hurt you.
The what can be mom or dad or a former spouse. The what
can be a poor decision you made. When you focus on it,
you give more life to it, making it big and grand.
After I left an abusive relationship I talked up my
ex-fiancé. I talked up my fear of him and made myself even
more afraid. When I traveled to the state he had moved to,
I started to hyperventilate-seven years after
the experience!
I made him so huge. He was already 6-foot 9-inches, and I
made him 9-foot, 9-inches tall!
But you can shrink the what. Here's how...
Visualize the person, thing, or event that knocked you
down as a balloon. Blow it up really big, and label it.
Visualize holding it in your left hand and a shiny stickpin
in your right hand.
Gently pop the balloon so the air seeps out nice and slow.
Visualize it getting smaller and smaller until you've
completely shrunk the what that knocked you down in
the past.
The second thing you can do to find your strength is to
simply recognize that you cannot go and find what you
already have.
This is not an Easter egg hunt. You don't have to search
for it—you already have the strength you need within to
get back up. Use it.
Finally, remind yourself of your true worth. When you've
been knocked down, it's easy to settle for what's
happening instead of for what you really deserve.
I know this intimately. I had settled for an abusive
relationship. For three months I was in the valley, and my
body felt so weak I didn't know how to climb out. I was
stressed and had the shakes. I cried uncontrollably. My
son was only three years old. His life was in danger, and I
didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to get back
to me.
So I began to remind myself of my birthright and who I
was. I began to seek out people who inspired me such as
Maya Angelou. I began to use affirmations to remind
myself of who I was and what I deserved...
My past does not equal my future. It's my birthright to
experience healthy love. I have the right to feel good about
me. If it doesn't serve me then it can't stay in my space.
Never forget your own worth. It will give you the strength
you need to get back up again.
I love you,
Lisa Nichols
Unknown Annoyed
- 16 years, 6 months, 13 days ago
