I haven't been on here in a while and I apologize but something happened yesterday that I thought you might get a little chuckle at!!
I was pullling up at the local gas station at about 8:40am with my music blaring (it's like my wake up call since I don't drink coffee anymore). Anyway, I had this Spanish song on (I happen to enjoy spanish music, especially when it's loud), and as I am getting out of the car there is this one line that is said over and over in spanish (obvoiusly) "Que bonita bandera, la bendera puertoriquena" (probably spelling it wrong as I just can't think right now and I haven't slept all week). So keeping this in mind I'll move on...
I get out and get to the pumping gas part!! All of a sudden this guy that is on the opposite side looks over at me and says "Moooo Cho Free Yo"!! (In super slow mo)!! I kinda laughed and said "Yes, it is kinda cold"!! His mouth drops as he realizes that I speak English!! He tried to say something but you could tell he was embarressed. I felt bad for the guy but it was pretty funny. Just goes to show, don't ever assume....
Unknown " Queen" Frisky - 15 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

New Store




A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.

When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of

the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item

from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you

CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign on the door reads:



Floor 1: These men have jobs.



The 2nd floor sign reads: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.



The 3rd floor sign reads: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.



'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.



She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.



'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'



Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.



She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.



This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited


Unknown " Queen" Frisky - 16 years, 2 days ago

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manly anatomy. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. 'Oh look' says the first nun, 'it's a soap dispenser'. To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.Sure enough he drops the second bar of soap. Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells, 'Holy Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!'
Unknown " Queen" Frisky - 16 years, 2 days ago

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Len and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

Unknown " Queen" Frisky - 16 years, 3 days ago

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .'


Unknown " Queen" Frisky - 16 years, 3 days ago