MY TAILS ( Life 4 ) OMG - A Bunny ( kitten ) Boiler !!!!

Did I escape from Ooh-La-La France - NO - I got kicked out of the country and my value down to zero again ! ! lol.
The French chef - my owner turned out to really be English with no sense of humour and such a pissy temperament ! !
He thought he was all that with his dashing good looks and Adonis body - Yeah rite - he wishes,he was ageing fast and past it ! !
The lady diners humoured him with their attention, he was afterall the butt of many of their jokes and private chats ! !
I wasn't like my mother to sit on anyones lap - I was choosy and kept standards.... and told him he was not getting any of this Welsh Pussys Exclusive love.....
So I got thrown out for insolense - but it was worth it ....because I was....
BACK IN WALES - hurray - " The Land of my Fathers " - not that I have ever met him , my mother was a right Pussy Galore with all the neigbourhood toms showing her the love ! but who cares she didn't .... lol
I have been taken deep into the valleys - literally I hope ! ;-)
Made some new friends, since being here and one is very intriguing , an artist and a free spirit a bit like myself BUT....
1 problem not a partner his owner - she has become green with envy - like the wicked Witch of the North but with pink hair,blue hair,red hair .... changing like the weather....
She doesnt like her pets to have friends and has lashed me with her tongue several times , a whip or paddle would be nice ;-) but a womans tongue - it's not for me .... lol.
Although stix and stones may break my bones , names will never hurt me ....
So what did the Witch do - she bought me and took me to London and not to see the Queen ! !
So I had revenge on her and pee'd on her bed .... pmsl .... literally
OMG she had the biggest stewing pot that I ever did see and I was to be todays lunch ....
She was a " Bunny Boiler " and it didn't make any difference that I was a cat ! !
She was fuming when she saw what I had done - I had made matters worse but what was there to lose ?
My bloody tail - thats what ! !
She wanted to cut my prized beautiful fluffy tail off to hang as a trophy and chased me round the house with a carving knife.
OH FUCK - she thinks I'm 1 of the 3 Blind Mice now ! ! ! !
Unknown "soggy moggy" Sad - 16 years, 8 months, 11 days ago

MY TAILS ( Life 3 ) Sailing across the Sea ( But leaving Uncle Sam !!!! ) Madness

Well what can I say except that I'm back to my former glorious immaculate self ....
This exclusive Welsh pussy has been bathed , groomed and is smellin good enough to eat .... ;-) Anyone hungry ???? lol
I am going to stay on this ship forever - I will be the ship's cat and catch the mice but I am not going to eat them !!!! - just use their tails to floss my teeth.... lol
I am being fed Salmon - not the tinned catfood mushy stuff - REAL Scottish salmon flakes drizzled in honey .... mmmmmhhhhhmmmm
I have made friends with lots of people aboard and as such hot pussy never been stroked and tickled so much in all my life , I only sit on the mens laps tho much more satisfying and I purrrrr in ecstacy.... ;-)
oooohhh we are stopping .... Where ???? It's Calais !!!! Ooh-La-La ....
OMG I have been scooped up and put in a box, I cant see its too dark - Whats happening now ????
The box was opened and the light flooded in 2 sets of eyes looking at me a French male human and another cat - named Felix.
I had been bought off the captain and taken to a restaurant - yummy .... No I was needed to be a kitchen cat !!!!
The chef wanted me to catch a RAT - called Ratatouille because Felix couldn't ...Grrr8....
So as I now in France I had a choice of Frogs legs , Snails and Ratatouille tails .... lol
I had never eaten any before and wasn't sure if I was going to now !!!! I had a taste for salmon being on that ship ....
America to France - I think I have just jumped outa the frying pan and into the fire ...
" Birn baby Birn " - there will be no " Disco Inferno " for me as " I will survive " like Gloria Gaynor .... ( corny ) lol....

Unknown "soggy moggy" Sad - 16 years, 8 months, 28 days ago

MY TAILS ( Life 2 ) Homesick

24 hrs have passed and my lush white fur coat is looking worse for wear already .
Who wants a rough lookin pussy .... !! they should be at the least well groomed.... ;-)
Top Cat,his alley mates and even Garfield dont want to know me now as I am homeless.
And I thought it was only humans that was shallow ....
So I have decided to make my way back home to Wales in Britain .... the land of my fathers....
Well they say a cat always finds its way home .... but from America is a wee bit daunting tho !!!!
So I set off heading for the nearest port .
Luck was in ....not .... I had just missed the boat for Britain !!!!
Two choices another week scared and alone or swim for it to catch the boat .
But can I swim I dont even like water I am a cat afterall !!!!
Too late I had dived in my urges to get to that boat was extreme , I swam heart pounding as fast as my paws could go .
I reached the boat and saw a rope hanging over the side I gripped it with my claws and teeth ....
But there was nothing more that I could do I couldnt climb my fur too heavy soaking with the salt water so I cried , meeeeooooowwwwww.
Luckily I was heard by 1 of the crew and he dragged up the rope with me hanging on for grim death until I was on the deck !!!!
I was shivering from the cold sea and looking my worst ever ....
Because of all the commotion lots of the crew and many passengers had gathered around to see me ....
I was in heaven ..... I was 1 wet pussy surrounded by semen - sorry seamen ... ;-)

Unknown "soggy moggy" Sad - 16 years, 8 months, 29 days ago

MY TAILS ( Life 1 ) Just a 12wk old Kitten ....

Well so much for the RSPCA advert ." A pet is for life not just for Christmas "
I realised as a kitten that it was a tough world out there but you always think it will happen to someone else and never to you !!!!
I was found as a 12wk old stray kitten and put up for sale.
In no time I was bought and given a loving home pampered and de-flea'd but somehow kept being bought and rehomed due to no fault of my own.
As I am 100% house-trained , I never once messed behind the television or sharpened my claws on my owners furniture.
Maybe that is where I went wrong !!! my owners might have been perv's and wanted me to mess on the carpet , glass table or maybe even them !!! lol
Anyway I got taken abroad bought by a young ,fit guy .... " I was living in America " made me want to sing out just like James Brown ....lol
It was a bit of a rough area I got took to but fitted in as posh totty with my diamante collar.
I was treated well and given all the attention / stroking that any pussy could ever want or need off their master .... ;-)
All the Tom-Cats,Dicks and Harry's adored my Welsh purring....
I used to go out and hung around the garbage cans with Top Cat and his alley cat mates but avoiding PC Dibbles at all cost..
But today was the day it happened !!!!
When I got home I realised that I had been dis-owned - my $35,000 price tag down to zero ....
I had been thrown out on the street to fend for myself .... WHY ? .... :-(
Unknown "soggy moggy" Sad - 16 years, 9 months ago