HEY MY HUMAN PET FRIENDS..I HAVE NOT BEEN ON BECUASE I AM HAVING PROBLEMS HERE THAT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND..EVERY MOVE I MAKE ON HUMAN PETS TAKES ME TO SOME ADD CALLED ZUMI, OR I GET KNOCKED OFFLINE..I HAVE CHANGED MY PASSWORD AND EVERYTHING, BUT IT IS STILL HAPPENING..IF ANYONE HAS ANY ADVICE PLEASE LET CHEEKY MY OWNER OR MARK JOHNSON KNOW SO THEY CAN SEND ME A MESSAGE ON FACEBOOK AND LET ME KNOW HOW TO FIX IT SO I CAN COME BACK AND STRAT PLAYING AGAIN..I MISS EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN SO KIND TO ME..XOXOXO
Unknown "Lovely Laura C" - 16 years, 8 months, 15 days ago

One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but
I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't
quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the
first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water.
Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed.
Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing.
Such was his fate in hell.

"No," OJ sai d. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't
think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be
in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented OJ.

The devil opened a third door.
Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over
his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him
was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can
handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . . . . .

(This is priceless)










"OK, Monica, you're free to go
Unknown "Lovely Laura C" - 16 years, 8 months, 21 days ago

WHERE DO REDHEAD BABIES COME FROM?



After their baby was born,
the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.



'Doctor,' the man said, 'I
don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter
has red hair. She can't possibly be mine.'


'Nonsense,' the doctor said
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your
ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'


'It isn't possible,' the man insisted. 'This can't be, our
families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'


'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do
you have sex?' The man seemed a bit ashamed.

'I've been
working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice
every few months.'

'Well, there you have it!' The doctor
said confidently. 'It's rust.'
Unknown "Lovely Laura C" - 16 years, 8 months, 21 days ago

Get a calculator ready! YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but

your waiter may know your age by diner and restaurant math.


This is pretty neat.



DON'T CH EAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!


It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things; it's fun.


1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.

(More than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2.

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply it by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1758;
If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four d igit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.


The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., how many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)


The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)


THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS
Unknown "Lovely Laura C" - 16 years, 8 months, 21 days ago

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT
Just try this. It is from an orthopedic
surgeon............ This will boggle your mind and
you will keep trying over and over again to see if
you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's
preprogrammed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front
of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the
air with your right Hand. Your foot will change
direction.

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do
about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but
before the day is done you are going to try it again,
if you've not already done so. Send it to your
buddies to frustrate them too.
Unknown "Lovely Laura C" - 16 years, 8 months, 27 days ago