.......I said
Hey, Listen to me
Stay sane inside insanity
But he locked the door
And threw away the key.........
Unknown "Kali Gator!!" Lazy - 16 years, 10 months ago

My bologna has a first name
It's H-O-M-E-R
My bologna has a second name
It's...uh....H-O-M-E-R.......
Unknown "Kali Gator!!" Lazy - 17 years, 22 days ago

CHOMP!!!!!!!! Ha Ha! You have been bitten! Soon you will become part of my Brigade!! (That's right. I said brigade.)
Unknown "Kali Gator!!" Lazy - 17 years, 5 months, 13 days ago

Kali & Bonnie - Random mishaps #2


So Bonnie an I are walking down the street with our friend Tom, Minding our own buisness. We were passing by the local bowling alley when out of nowhere, A police car comes pulling up on us with its lights flashing. We stop and look at it, and wonder whats going on. A half a second later another police car comes pulling up to us, lights flashing. What the hell is this? The police get out, and tell us to stay where we are. We are now all confused as hell. They tell us they got a call about some kids throwing rocks at the bowling alley and wanted to check our pockets for rocks. How freakin bored are these cops??!! So fine, whatever. It wasnt us so we have nothing to worry about right? We start to empty our pockets. Tom has cigarettes which the cops took cause he wasnt 18 yet. no big deal. we all have lighters on us so the cops start harrassing us and asking if they are for our drugs, and if we are pyros. Gimme a break. Bonnie had some stickers that go on your nails, so the cop is now shining his flashlight through them and asking if it is LSD. What?? They are freakin stickers! And even better, the cops wanted to confiscate them! Ultimately, they find no rocks, and have no reason to keep us, so now they see we are wearing marilyn manson t-shirts, and start telling us how into manson they were! Me and Bonnie were wearing boa's also, so the cops are asking us questions about the boa's and if we are gothic, and asking what we do in our spare time! Whoa! Hold the phone here! we were like, 15 or 16! That is just creepy! They kept us there for a good hour just trying to be "cool" with us before letting us on our way. I don't like cops just as much as the next guy, but that little encounter was just plain awkward.
Unknown "Kali Gator!!" Lazy - 17 years, 6 months, 22 days ago

Kali & Bonnie - Random mishaps #1


So my best friend Bonnie and I were, well lets just say not so sober, one night. Her parents are sleeping or something so we go outside and smoke a cigeratte. On the way back in, we stop in the kitchen and start talking. Couldn't tell you what about, but thats not the point. Ultimately I recall ( from my altered state of mind ) her saying something that got me excited because I started jumping up and down with joy. At one point, for some reason, I threw my hands up in the air and ended up hitting the glass globe over the lightbulb on the ceiling.
{sidepoint} Keep in mind I am only five foot nothin, and I dont recall the ceiling being that low.
Anyway, so I knock into this globe and startle myself, in turn mis-stepping when I land again and crashing to the ground
{sidepoint} Again, keep in mind it is also prolly 3 in the morning and her parents are sleeping.
So I hit the ground, look up, and watch this globe fall ( in what I swear was slow motion ) to the floor next to me and shatter into a million pieces. Shit. Her parents had to have heard that. So Bonnie is now staring at me sitting on the floor in the middle of a puddle of broken glass with her mouth wide open. I looked at her, and for some reason all I could think to say was " Dude, I so could have caught that. " We both bust out laughing while at the same time cursing and praying her parents don't come down. Especially at that moment too. Could you imagine the looks on their faces and us just standing and sitting in broken glass laughing? Wow. that's not an awkward breakfast or anything. But INCREDIBLY they did not hear a thing.
We cleaned it all up after we were done choking on laughter ( and why it was so funny I couldn't tell you ) and went on with our night. The next day no one said anything. In fact, it wasn't until months later Bonnie's mom looks up one day and says " Wasn't there a globe over that bulb? " What? no..........
Unknown "Kali Gator!!" Lazy - 17 years, 6 months, 27 days ago