IT has been quite long, ever since the last time i login.

I've tried to focus on my studies, but still distracted by what's so called relationships.
The more i try to heal, try to give chances for myself..
the worse i get.

Close friends of mine kept telling me about stories of guys turning gay, giving me example such as Leslie Cheung, warning me " Hey vincent, please try noy to be like them"
LOL... Although the disappointment within me seems to be a bottomless hole, but i'm clear of i'm not a girl's soul born in guy's body.

Perhaps people change as age grows, perhaps this world has changed to something more about individualistic and materialistic, perhaps we are exposed to more people as age grows...

or perhaps, i've been naive all the time, haven't changed at all.

Yes, i'm naive, lacking worldly experience and understanding of what's so called maturity. Isit about full development of characteristic, either mental or physical? Or in other words, it means having reached maximum development?
Most people at my age or older claimed that they are matured, mentally and physically. But why the things they do are still that childish?
Keeping the best and don't want to share, like a child just got a new toy for Christmas and scared his friends will steal it,
or
doing things that will benifits only themselves, a child who tell lies about others so elders would think he/her is a better child or pay more attention on him/her, or take something from other kids and tear them apart, throw them away or claimed as theirs?

If everyone thinks like that, this is a world that is not much different than hell: either u r the Demon soldier, or the poor souls being torn apart. Where would be the sharing that would benifits everyone? If there's a method that ease your life, why don't you want to share with others so their live would be much better?

They keep saying "There's no such thing as fair competition in this society. Either you live happy but have less, or you have alot and feels HAPPY despite what others feel"

Isn't that what is a child thinking when it comes to sweets and toys? If you are matured, why can't you try to use your full developed smart brain to create a society where there's no such thing as "one man's meat is another man's poison'? It's a society, we won't work as individually, but as ONE, ever heard of cooperation?

Naive thinking eh? You don't always have to agree with someone like me. That's the way it always does.
Unknown " Zi lolipopang@" Ferocious - 16 years, 14 days ago

I like this... from da movie called Harlod and Kumar

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
Unknown " Zi lolipopang@" Ferocious - 16 years, 14 days ago

Unknown " Zi lolipopang@" Ferocious - 16 years, 1 month, 25 days ago

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Unknown " Zi lolipopang@" Ferocious - 16 years, 1 month, 27 days ago

To those who doesn't understand chinese, this is a passage about Virgo. (" ,)
十二星座終極分析--處女座終極完美分析:
都說處女座另類，雙重性格，甚至有點神經質，其實原因只有一個， 處女座的一切都要隨自己外顯的性格而轉，姑且稱之為"狀態"。處女座狀態好的時候，可以將自己聰明、細膩、能幹、溫情、幽默、有內涵等優良品質完全外展， 此時他們顯得如此完美，光芒四射，並且可以表現得非常外向、健談，容易與人打成一片（這本非他們的性格）。而一旦處女座狀態不好，便會變成另一個人，甚至 非常窩囊，一事無成，不過通常此時他們都躲避外在的干擾,所以讓人感覺有點間歇性自閉症)因為同為水星守護，所以處女和雙子一樣善變，但雙子善變的是心 思，處女善變的卻是情緒。

　　
很多時候處女座要面對很多實際的瑣事，這時的處女座便不得不在冷中面對周圍世界：要麼說話做事很不自然，有做作的痕跡；要麼便極度冷漠和被動，對誰都不理不睬。其實處女座很清楚自己現在的樣子，但他們無力改變和控制自己的情緒，只能選擇瘋狂地逃避一切。

他 們想的是：與其很不自然地面對你，尷尬地和你說些無關痛癢地話，或是因和平時反差太大而被人說成表裡不一，性格怪異，還不如先躲一陣子，等調節好了以後再 出來。所以，在與人交往中，他們只會和不得不交流的人（實在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正無所謂）交談，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏遠。

所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越遠。特別是戀人.

而 且,大家都知道處女座的人有嚴重的完美主義傾向,所以就有了所謂的\"處女座的人最喜歡若即若離\"。原因很簡單：他只想給你一個最好最完美的自己，而不 願讓你看到他無助脆弱的一面。所以請記住，有時處女座對你冷，絕不是你說錯做錯什麼，這是他們正常的生理現象，他們只是不想讓嚴寒和冰霜傷害了你（可事實 上這種做法已經傷害）。不必難過，因為他們在乎你的話，他們的內心比你還要難過、自責和內疚！他們所能做的，只希望快點調整好情緒，回到你的身邊。

正基於以上兩點，處女座有時便會表現出非常另類的行為和思維模式。他們的性格也很多來源於此：不喜主動，不善交際（也可以熱情，只是今天熱了，終有一天會冷的），不愛表現，不喜拋頭露面（萬一哪天情緒無法把握狀態不好時，豈不大失臉面），諸如此類。

關於"潔癖"——並非處女都有潔癖，很多處女座並不愛乾淨，但卻要求整潔，他們更多的是井然有序，不喜歡別人破壞他們所整理和佈置的"完美"格局。處女座更多的是有精神潔癖。一旦觸碰到他們精神上的禁區，嚴重時會表現得歇斯底里。

關 於"花心"——一般說來處女座絕不花心，忠誠是他們的代名詞。異性關係多很可能是他們需要確定一個好人緣和自己有魅力，來反擊那些普遍觀點。一旦找到心中 真愛，他會呵護你一輩子，只要你能給他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。尋花問柳，紅杏出牆這些事與他們絕緣（一是責任感所致，二是怕麻煩）。

關 於"聰明"——不似雙子靈活機巧，不像水瓶創意非凡，也不是天蠍的那種計畫周密，處女座更多體現的是智慧。細膩、理性、好學加上十二星座裡一流的洞察力和 最強的邏輯思維能力，處女座想不聰明都難。沒事少在處女座面前信口開河，隨意撒謊，很多偽紗他們一眼便能看透；也別跟他們玩什麼心計，你玩不過他們的。處 女是那種可以把你賣了你還得向他道謝的類型。沒事也少跟處女座辯論，他們沒理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一條理來。處女是永遠不會吃虧的。

關於"單純"——處女座很純真，但絕不單純，他們內心複雜得讓人難以想像，很多不經意的事可能都是他們精心佈置的。處女座也總在純潔和好色之間徘徊，這一點最難說清。不過他們真正的內心是極其善良的，
寧可自己苦也不願傷害任何人，心靈如水晶一般晶瑩剔透。

關於"幽默"——都說處女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他們接觸吧，你會體會到什麼是冷幽默，什麼是真正的幽默，而並非品位低俗的搞笑。

關於"遲鈍"——別看你和處女座說某些提議時他們半天才反應過來，在你說好的一瞬間，他們腦子裡可能已經轉過五六個你這項提議會造成的後果（通常是消極後果）了。他們總是想得太多，絕非想得太慢。

關於"自私"——處女座的自私覺不是獅子的那種惟我獨尊，也不是水瓶的以自我為中心。處女座正因為是無私的，所以顯得自私。（能夠理解嗎？）因為處女不想傷害任何人。

關 於"逃避"——由於處女座性格上的因素，他們通常會顯得壓力很大。當週遭的事物已無法掌控，或是自己的情緒無法調節好時，他們會瘋狂地逃避，墮落自己，這 種狀況通常對別人無害，卻是傷害自己，讓所有愛他們的人感到心碎。不過不用太擔心，過一陣子他們自己會好的，他們天性的自我批判精神很快便會起作用。處女 座一般不會徹底墮落，墮落前可能都已留有餘地，只是在等待著希望的來臨。甚至有時墮落都是做給別人看的。

關於"內涵"——處女座有涵養這一點是肯定的。在成長中不斷吸取教訓，不斷學習，取人之長來豐富自己的內涵。因為他們感覺到情緒無法把握，而這些是自己可以踏踏實實做到的，將來一定有幫助。這是他們所追求的完美主義目標。

處女座就是一個表面神秘到難以琢磨，說穿了卻又很簡單的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，處女座喜歡這樣
來標榜自己。因為他們確實有超凡脫俗的一面。他們的內心接近了神，可是身在這個世界，不能不食人間煙火吧，所以必須得戴著一個面具活在這個世界上。

處女座喜歡和人說些曖昧的話，對心儀的對象卻不好意思表白。
處女座希望別人瞭解自己，卻又只將能公佈的那一部分對外展示。
處女座是最有責任感的人了，可很多時候卻害怕承擔責任。

Unknown " Zi lolipopang@" Ferocious - 16 years, 2 months, 13 days ago