Stolen from Andrew
JUST FOR FUN:

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and Asks!

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the Fun. Copy and paste this into your tales, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then see what happens.

Kissed anyone one of your HP friends? NO
Been arrested? NO
Kissed someone you didn't like? YES
Slept in until 5 PM? YES
Fallen asleep at work/school? YES
Held a snake? YES
Ran a red light? YES
Been suspended from school? NO
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? YES
Been fired from a job? NO
Sang karaoke? YES
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? YES
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? NO
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? NO
Kissed in the rain? YES
Sang in the shower? YES
Sat on a rooftop? YES
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.? NO
Broken a bone? NO
Shaved your head? NO
Blacked out from drinking? NO
Played a prank on someone? YES
Felt like killing someone? YES
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? NO
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? NO
Been in a band? NO
Shot a gun? NO
Tripped on mushrooms? NO
Donated Blood? NO
Eaten alligator meat? NO
Eaten cheesecake? YES
Still love someone you shouldn't? YES
Think about the future? YES
Believe in love? YES and NO
Unknown "Dark -NFS Hos!-" Evasive - 15 years, 7 months, 14 days ago

Cake is not a lie.. Men are..

That is all. - _ -
Unknown "Dark -NFS Hos!-" Evasive - 15 years, 12 months, 1 day ago

post my Truth post when I feel up to it.. Right now.. sick to my stomach.. very tired.. meanwhile.. until then... Stolen from Taylor on Myspace..

If tin whistles are made of tin......what do they make foghorns out of?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick it on the pan?

If knees were on the other side of the legs…how would chairs look?

If a snail lost it’s house….

would it be naked, or homeless?

If one swimmer on a synchronized swimming team drowns….

what’s the others supposed to do?

If white wine goes with fish….

does grapes to with sushi?

If you melt dry ice….

can you bathe without getting wet?

If a man can satisfy his sexual desires with a porno magazine….

Why don’t we just send cooking books to the starving nations?

If swimming is so healthy….

why are the whales so big?

How many weeks go on a light year?

How does nudist celebrate Halloween?

How do you find out if they spelled a word wrong in the dictionary?

How can there be Selfhelpgroups

Why can a pencil write on an eraser?

How do you get off a none-stop flight?

How do you know it’s time to tune your bagpipe?

How do you know you run out of invisible ink?

How do you throw away a trashcan?

Why is a guy who plays the piano called a pianist, when a racecar driver isn’t called a racist?

Isn’t it kinda cruel that there’s an S in Lisp

Why did the kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is it called hay fever, when you don’t have a fever, but sneeze?

Why is it called Rush-hour, when everyone goes slow?

Why is it tourist Season, when you can’t shoot them?

Why do you execute killers to show them it’s wrong to kill?

Why have we never seen the headline “psychic wins the lottery”?

Why do you have to schedule an appointment with a psychic?

Why do you press start to shut down windows..?

Why is palindrome not spelled the same way from the front and the back?

Why do you press harder on the remote when you know the battery is almost dead?

Can a blind dog get a seeing eye person?

Can soap be dirty?

If a catholic protests a lot….

does he become a protestant?

Can you surf a heat wave?

Can you be a closet claustrophobe?

If a person with multiple personality threatens with suicide….

Is it a hostage situation?

When a crocodile eats, does it have to wait an hour to leave the water?

When a bald man washes his face….

where does he stop?

We give kids little spoons and forks….

does Chinese kids get toothpicks?

Would Jesus get wet if he tripped while walking on water?
Unknown "Dark -NFS Hos!-" Evasive - 16 years, 10 days ago

From Myspace:

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.
7.She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'
8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENH ANCED.
9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.' Love this one.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.
10.. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
11.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'
Unknown "Dark -NFS Hos!-" Evasive - 16 years, 13 days ago

Saw this on someone's HP page.. Thought I post it cause it is so funny..

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tondisable= is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!
Unknown "Dark -NFS Hos!-" Evasive - 16 years, 13 days ago