You, you are a fool, a fool for not knowing, not knowing yourself, all of your pain gathers, all your anger rages inside, all your regrets eat away at you, all the torn memories of your past haunt you everywhere you go, everything builds, you are nothing left but a unrealistic form of what once represented your body, all of your doubts fill you with fear, you have nothing inside, you ignorant fucker, why do you do this to yourself, where did you leave the corpse of the person you once were, how do you not care, why must we sink with our thoughts, what do you have left, you feel nothing but a breath, even that seems overrated now, you fade away to a dull bliss filled with numb ignorance and shame, don't hurt the ones that love you, leave them with a bitter sweet satisfaction of knowing that you still exist, let no one know you're a fool, that you do not know who you are, that you hurt deep down, that your anger is vigorous, that you live in manipulated regrets, that the memory of some taunt your mind, let nothing out, give no one the key, allow no exits and no entries, your body is solid and solid it shall remain till the half you long for breaks through to your core. What could break you?....Love, what is love, the feeling that you fit in, you become accepted… NO, you love but your love is not near, it is a blanket that shields your soul from all of your foolish feelings, that love is what keeps you sane, that love is perfect in so many ways, if hope is what little humane feeling you hang on to, continue to hope, continue the hope of becoming one with the love that so fluently speaks to your heart.
Unknown "PDV" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 8 days ago

"Life never goes as planned", this is something I have heard throughout my entire life. Only recently I have come to the crude realization of the true meaning behind this saying. My life has always been lived in a slow conforming way, for the simple reason that I never liked compramising someones feelings. Every time someone came to me for advice or help I would cast aside my own oppinions and concerns to make sure that person was getting what they wanted. Now, just recently I have begun to worry about what I want and what I need but people I am around do not seem to be considerate of this. I have made plans for the past three years and everyone has fallen through due to some technicality that randomly pops up out of no where.

People die, parents devorce, children dissapear, hearts are broken and lives are changed these are few of the many unfortionate events that occure every day. Whats importent is that you make the best out of the time that you have.

Have I made a good impact on this world?, i mean would i feel satisfied if i were to leave tonight? How many people will it help? How many people would it hurt? Who would it change? Would they become stronger, bitter, or more open? Would it help someone realize the importance of the precious time that they may or may not have? Or would they all continue on with their lives without a hint of remourse?


Bitter, its a very sorrowfull feeling to have. I still love her with all of my heart i cant seem to change that fact and it hurts to even try. But as stubborn as i am i continue to do so. Why couldnt we have lived off of the good times lol, ill never forget how i felt walking down that old brick street with her on my arm with our bellies full from eating multiple home made shakes, god i dont think i will ever have another one that amazingly good. We both started focusing on the bad after becoming so close so fast, i never should have moved in but at the same time when it was good IT WAS GOOD! she could make me smille from ear to ear by just looking at me. hah she is an amazing girl and yet for some reason i force my feelings aside and try to let her go but my heart just wont allow it. I want her back but at the same time i feel as if we need to be seperate, "it's for the best" right? who am i kidding i dont even have a clue as to what in the hell i want to be for the rest of my life and im supposedly know whats best for me? what a joke, I love that girl more than i love myself and i wish i would have met her at a different time in my life because then maybe we would have actually had a chance together. With everything her and i were going through seperately in our own lives there was no way in hell it was going to last. Sadly i knew of this inevitable moment i just chose to stay ignerant and enjoy the time that i had to love her. Neither of us fully appreciated one another as much as we should have and we competed with one another to see whom would reign victourious. Thats not what you do when you love someone though and for that i am truely sorry i wish that i could show her now, all the love tha i have for her is laying dorment crushed by my foolis pride and choked away by my foresaken stubborness. I love you forever and alway my one and only true sweetheart... ...Lyndsey.
Unknown "PDV" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 10 days ago

People are amazing! No matter how honest, caring, and down to earth a person may be you really never actually know how crule, stubborn, and vengful they can be until you stab them in the back. We all have a past that we don't enjoy remembering because in most cases we would like to become better people. I realized that no matter how much you try to block that past out it has a mischevious way of coming back to you. I can become overwhelming, in the sense that you feel you could really use those (bad) qualities to obtain certain pleasures in life and sometimes its just down right FUN! No matter what your past brings back you can never be that same personyou once were and if you try you realize very quick the reason(s) why you wanted to change those qualities. Ha but at the point in time that your haveing a bit of dajavou* nothing else matters except for the brief satisfaction you get from your randevous with the past. Eventually the majority of us will actually attempt to move on and succeed in our lives by once again leaving the past where it belongs. Yesterday is past enough for anyone, it cant be changed and most everything is better left that way when it comes to our bad qualities.

But if you do dwell on yesterday, try to make it count for something important... ...or go for the quick fix and hit it where it hurts!

Unknown "PDV" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 10 days ago

I really want to know why it is so damn hard to love someone? Its never what you expect it to be. You understand that you have so much love in your heart and you try giving it all to one person but it never works the way you planed it to. You never really know how much you can love one person untill you loose them. Why is it so hard to let go and give it all to "Fate", and let it go where it is suposed to go. I love so deeply but at the same time i know that its best for her and I both to let her go so that she and I can find who we are truely suposed to be. Someone very wise once told me that "you need to let the one you love go, and if that person comes back then its ment to be and if they dont its for the best". It just hurts so damn bad to let something go that you care so much about. I know its time, i know its going to hurt, its apart of life though, you live, you love, and you never forget. Its going to last forever i know this in my heart but its time.
Unknown "PDV" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 10 days ago

For the life of one soul wasted is never the less the loss of another life jaded.
Unknown "PDV" Seductive - 16 years, 6 months, 10 days ago