1 chance.
1 honest answer.
Thats all you get.
You get to ask me 1 question. (TO MY INBOX)
Any question, anything, no matter how crazy it is.
No catch.
Just between me and you.
No one else will ever know.
But I dare you to repost this.
And see what people ask you....!

Giles Morris "Stat" Playful - 15 years, 9 months, 17 days ago

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top but it won't keep you there !!
Giles Morris "Stat" Playful - 15 years, 11 months ago

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies grow
In Flanders fields
Giles Morris "Stat" Playful - 15 years, 11 months ago

INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please ente r command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program .These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Giles Morris "Stat" Playful - 16 years, 1 month, 23 days ago

Kissed any one of your HP friends? No
Been arrested? Yes
Kissed someone you didn't like? Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? No
Held a snake? Yes :D
Ran a red light? Yes
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? Yes
Been fired from a job? No
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Sat on a rooftop? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Yes
Broken a bone? No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? Yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
Been in a band? No
Shot a gun? Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Donated Blood? No
Eaten alligator meat? No
Eaten cheesecake? Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? Yes
Think about the future? Yes
Believe in love? Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

Giles Morris "Stat" Playful - 16 years, 1 month, 23 days ago