I just joined, but this is about as good a tale as I have to tell... I hope you enjoy it, and find some significance... This happened September 2009.
So I'm vacationing with my gf in Kodiak Alaska. Our day started with the plan of hiking out to Termination Point-- 5 mi round trip... there and back before kick-off of the Seattle Sounders US Open Cup final, my hometown local football team. It was me, my gf (Ida) and her mom (Debi), and the hike was very beautiful despite a vicious downpour. Less than a quarter-mile from the end, we're soaked in our rain gear, a little tired, and just slogging to the end when Debi SHRIEKS "BEEEAAAARRR!!!" and BOLTS off up a hill into the forest still SCREAMING indecipherably... Likewise Ida, after a moment's hesitation darts off in a different direction, and I am caught utterly numb as the Grizzly Bear we just startled at 25 yards begins launching through the forest at us... Me.
I had a lot of thoughts in that moment. Don't run. She's bluffing. Don't get between her and her cub. Wow, that is a HUGE HEAD. She's not bluffing. FUUUUUUUUUCK. Her original direction was the middle of our group, but at the moment she got to our path she turned her head at me and wheeled her body around to charge in a manner I can only describe as like the gallop of a playful puppy. Meanwhile, I should point out, I have the party's weapons. Bear spray, velcro'ed securely to a fanny pack, safety-clip in place, an air-horn packed snugly underneath something fleece inside, zipped up. And I am chasing fiendishly with my fingers for these well packed defenses, my only defenses...
About 3 seconds have passed.
Now let me tell you something about being charged by a grizzly bear. You CANNOT, by any force of will or instinct or thought of survival, take your eyes off that massive thing... and certainly not enough to perform multiple unfastenings of things. There's a reason why cops don't carry their guns zipped up in fanny packs, tucked underneath their handcuffs. Point being, the only real defense was the tree i dove behind when the bear was seriously close enough to touch... Another thing I learned about bears, they're not super-agile-- that grizzly had to skid to a stop to chase me around the tree. My fingers continued their search for the airhorn, without any direction from my brain, and apparently unabashed by the fruitlessness of the search.
As I continued around the tree, the corner of my eye caught the cub arriving at the path behind me, barking an awfully discordant howl. I am literally between the mother and her cub. Having circled the tree completely, I start backing toward the path simply to avoid being between them, and as the bear wheels around the tree with just five feet of open ground between us, it takes one last pounce/gallop at me and bolts off into the forest, cub at her side in one stride.
The whole thing lasted about 7 seconds. The three of us did shots of Jameson til the bottle was dry. AND THEN WE WON THE FUCKING CUP!!!!
My girlfriend was about 15 feet away this whole time watching this happen. We cheers to life now and mean it.
BTW, we defended the Cup this year, the first team in America to do so since 1983 =)
Azam "M.I.A"
- 13 years, 5 months, 11 days ago
