‎5 ways to know santa is a typical man.....

1- he shows up late
2- eats your cookies
3- empties his sack
4- only cums once
5- calls you a ho and leaves whilst your asleep

phil - 12 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

Bloke sat on a bus and a good looking lady next to him starts breast feeding her baby.. the baby wont take it so she says "come on eat it all up or I'll give it this to nice man" Ten minutes later baby's still not feeding so she says again " come on eat it all up or I'll give it this to nice man" Bloke says "listen love can you make up your mind i should have got off 4 stops ago


phil - 12 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

Mad Mary was whizzing round the mental hospital in her wheelchair when she was stopped by crazy Carl. 'licence please' said Carl. Mary sped off round the corner and bumped into loony Leon. 'insurance please' said Leon. Off zoomed Mary again until she was stopped by donkey Dave, naked with a eight inch hard on. 'Oh no' cried Mary, 'not the breathalyser again

phil - 12 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A boy walks into his parents' room
When he see his Mom on top of his Dad
Bouncing up and down.Worried about her son
She dresses quickly , goes to find him.
'What were you doing to Dad just then
...'Well, you know Dad is fat
He has a big tummy so sometimes
I get on top and make it flat.'
'Well, you’re just wasting your time, Mom
Cos when you got out, the lady next door
Gets on her knees and blows it back up.'See more

phil - 12 years, 9 months, 7 days ago

A girl takes a dress to the dry cleaners & asks for it be cleaned. The man is a bit deaf & says "come again?", Girl blushes and says no this time its yogurt!!!

phil - 12 years, 9 months, 7 days ago