Tuesday was suppose to be a day like any other day. Run errands a doc appointment, a mammogram, fix dinner and go to bed. But it did not go the way I planned. I arrived at the breast center for my 3 year late mammogram at 2:45. I hate those things. I had one in 2007 and six months later in 2008 and the last week. I remember now in 2009 them saying there was one spot they would be watching and to come back in a year. A year turnt to 3 and my technician finished my mammo and told me to wait in the tiny waiting area in the back. Odd I was the only one with a top drape still on..this wasn't good. The Doc came back and said there was a suspicious area they wanted to do a sonogram on and to follow the other nice lady. OK this was going nowhere fast.
The next thing I knew they let me dress and I sat alone with the Doc while he showed me my slides the change and he looked at me sternly and said we're not sure whats going on and I won't twist your arm but you either need to come back in 3 months or get a biopsy now....and I feel very strongly about this but I won't force you. I'm like WTH lets do this and get it over with why worry 3 months? Now I couldn't tell Mr Doctor I engaged in BDSM play....so their next open spot is the next AM at 8. It all seems a blur.
My Mother had an "old folks" meeting to be at with her friends to set up for the next day and my significant other could only meet me there. I had to drive alone 45 minutes to get there and drive myself home. I take Xanax as needed for stomach issues and anxiety usually stocking up as much as possible so I will have them when I need them. Mine are only .25 and I usually take 1, 2 or 3 have had as many as 6 once until now. I take 8 the equivilant to a bar on my brothers advice (our family has a high medicine threshold and this is what he takes) and drive myself to the biopsy. I actually drive pretty good on Xanax its not that feeling you get like with alcohol. Maybe I just had an angel with me and it peaked after the 45 minute drive.
They did a stereotactic biopsy taking 6 tissue samples. Think Roda Ruda Auger type. They numbed me well very well. I didn't feel pain. Thankfully Xanax is an amnesiac in higher dosages so I don't remember a lot.
I remember seeing a small window on the machine where my breast would hang through a hole that looked to be the size of a post it note and wondering how would they squish all the tissue in that? I remember the breast being washed, a tiny prick to numb, being told a cut would be made, being told more numbing meds were being added deep in and then the nurse dressing me. I am THANKFUL to only remember laying there crying and being scared to death. The fact my Mom was too busy to be there is about more than I can handle. I then remember meeting my significant other in the Docs office and seeing what the nodules looked like on the slides and that the report would be back the next day. I drove myself home with no confusion and went to sleep.
I was very greatful for a no cancer diagnosis the next afternoon. The report read Benign breast parenchyma with apocrine cysts and to follow up in 6 months. No guidance on continuing horomone replacement or not all I know its NOT cancer and I am very thankful.
I know this is the breast that I DECIDED to have needle play done on it. I can't help but wonder. I have read this stuff we do won't cause cancer but can cause cysts. I have no desire for any type of needle play, violet wand play on the beewbees anymore or breast torture. This is all now new on a hard limits list. Safe sane consentual. Do what is right for you. But be aware of the risks because they are out there and get your mammogram once a year.
Angel "Sweet Heart" Curious
- 11 years, 12 months ago
