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Name:

About me:

Single male, never wed (biggest myth on planet,ggrrrr) no kids or baggage (kids are not baggage, but psycho ex boyfriends and axe weilding mothers in law are) 5.8 short, broad, wide load, with a massive ars, a cross between Victor Meldrew (u'd better believe it), Jack Dee, Philip Larkin and Chubby Brown ... that means, am a mardy, miserable wingebag, very deadpan, mournfully poetic and societally observant, but an amiable, intelligent life form and phat bunny fugga .....

About you:

-- Hefty heffers with more front than Brighton Beach and a back end like a bus -- Down-to-earth (well where else you goona be??) -- Buxom/voluptuous/curvy (think Nigella Lawson et all) lady or a real woman not a stick insect - I DONT DO THIN, -- Feisty, cultured, educated, with own teeth, mind and persona, for lots of laffs and deep meaningful/penetrating conversations... NOT LOOKING FOR... -- Women with sad cow disease, ones that perpeptually moan they've been 'hurt' cos they can't take the rough with the smooth (as if it only applies to them), they want a painless, easy life full of only nice/happy experiences that suits them.... -- Societarian conformists, (prefer those with minds of their own) -- Smokers -- Prudes/vanilla girls (or women with more hang ups than a cave full of bats) -- Excessive baggage (some byrds on here, got more baggage than an airport lost property lounge) -- Bunny boilers (bit of a fatal distraction that one) -- Excessive over-emotional drama queen-pink loving girly girls -- Chavettes/ladettes (ding ding, bling bling....er next) -- Excessive pet lovers who only want unconditional love - (listen your cat thinks you're a cabbage - just hasn't got the voice box to tell you so), and having pictures of your pets on here is just really pathetic, you want a bloke to compete for your attention with the dog, flaming eck, there's no hope is there....) Fook me, there'll be no one left, after I got shot of all them...