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Joe Franks | HumanPets.com - Free online hangout and friends
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Frisky
Joe Franks
Joe Franks



Name:
Joe Franks, 72/Male
Last login: over 3 weeks ago
Local time:11:25 AM
Join date:15 years, 7 months, 17 days ago
Location: United States

About me:
About you:
Looking for: Friendship and dating
Orientation: Straight

michelle presley
michelle presley
"wild child"
295 pts
Joe's tales
1 2 3 4 Next
Joe Franks
For the women ,
What I Want In A Man!

Original List:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I 'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10.. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.


Joe Franks Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago
Joe Franks
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But chains and whips excite me!
So I'll tie you up and strap you down
To show how much I like you!
Joe Franks Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago
Joe Franks
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances" Victor Frankl

Joe Franks Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago
Joe Franks
AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 27 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID,
"HONEY, 27 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A
SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY
NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

NOW I HAVE A $800,000 HOME, A $65,000 CAR, A KING-SIZE BED AND A PLASMA SCREEN TV,
BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 51-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING
UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND
FIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD GIRL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD
ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR,
SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR
MID-LIFE CRISIS.




Joe Franks Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago
Joe Franks
46-year old lady's letter to bank

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times .

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,---when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my bathroom case I am showering.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client


Joe Franks Frisky - 15 years, 6 months, 4 days ago
1 2 3 4 Next
Comments

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comfort
liciaokoh101

Hello
My name is miss comfort.I am a female I was impressed when i saw your profile today,i became interested in you,i will also like to know more about you mean while i have something important to discussed with you,and I will like to established a long lasting relationship with you.and if you can write to me with my contact address,i will give you my pictures,this is my address( comfortandrew/78/@/ya/hoo/./com/./sg )I believe we can move from here i am Awaiting for your reply,please contact me directly with my address ( comfortandrew78@yahoo.com.sg ) distance or colour does not matter but what matters allot is love,please dont write to me in the siteffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
comfort - 14 years, 1 month, 26 days ago
Mz Spanky

an internet kiss You have been given an internet kiss.
Crafted by Neil
Mz Spanky ~♥~off to Zzzzzz land~♥~ - 15 years, 3 months, 24 days ago
Mz Spanky

do I have your attention You have been given do I have your attention.
Crafted by Catherine MMMMM
Mz Spanky ~♥~off to Zzzzzz land~♥~ - 15 years, 3 months, 24 days ago
Mz Spanky
lol
*Fail* You have been given *Fail*.
Crafted by Angel
Mz Spanky ~♥~off to Zzzzzz land~♥~ - 15 years, 3 months, 24 days ago
Linda
Hi owner. I have not been on Human pets in a while.....How are you?
Linda Sparkling - 15 years, 5 months, 29 days ago
Mary James
hi there maryjames389@yahoo.com
Mary James - 15 years, 5 months, 29 days ago
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Joe's shop
This & that

all kinds of pet things.

U and Me
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200 pts
U and Me
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mirco-chip pet
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200 pts
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for direction
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  for direction
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not a bad influance
1 use

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 not a bad influance
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For you
1 use

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For you
Bought by 5 people
smile till it hurts
1 use

200 pts
smile till it hurts
Bought by 9 people
Toy collection
1 use

200 pts
  Toy collection
Bought by 9 people
pet play time
1 use

200 pts
 pet  play time
Bought by 6 people
if U read this
1 use

200 pts
 if U read this
Bought by 11 people
play things for U
1 use

200 pts
 play things  for  U
Bought by 6 people
Play Toys
1 use

200 pts
 Play Toys
Bought by 15 people
pet drink
1 use

200 pts
pet drink
Bought by 2 people
smile
1 use

200 pts
smile
Bought by 8 people
furry love
1 use

200 pts
furry love
Bought by 1 people
brfeast with a smile
1 use

200 pts
 brfeast with a smile
Bought by 6 people

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