Send KEITH a message

Name:

About me:

I am a selfish nasty person that no sane person would want as a friend. Most of the time I'm drunk and the rest of the time I'm hungover. My family hates me for too many reasons to name. I'm also pretty sure I ran over a dolphin with my car when I crashed into Sea World. My hobbies are attending AA meetings with a bottle of vodka and laughing at people's testimonials. I also enjoy sneaking condoms and KY into old people's shopping carts. I like to attend wakes of people I don't know and tell the family the corpse owes me money. It pays pretty well and it's just plain fun. If you want to be treated like crap, I'm your man.

About you:

I want a woman with money who will get me beer from the fridge without complaining. Looks are very important. If you're not hot and young don't waste my time. Extensive previous sexual experience is mandatory. I don't want to train an amateur.