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About me:
get ready to read. :P
adam. simple, trusting, naive, loving, easily confused, pretty nerdy, pretty funny. The list to describe myself could drag on for days, there are alot of words in the dictionary. there are also alot of lies i could make up about myself to drag the list on even further than that. im a pretty good liar. not as good as some people, but then again i dont really have a reason to lie. if you dont like me in the first place should i really put that much more effort into impressing you? i think the answer is apparent. you see, i loved a lie. heart and soul. in the end its like falling in love with a picture or a dream. its nice while it lasts. but once reality sets in... well you dont have much to go on do you? despite my obvious troubles with deceit, i will continue to run right back into the fight. In the end thats what love is right? if its not worth fighting for whats the point? so things may just come easily to you, you still have to keep things that way. struggle for her, fight for her, give it everything youve got. i promise you i she loves you, really loves you, shell be right behind you fighting twice as hard. i tend to get off topic, so i apologize if this whole thing seems a bit scattered. back to myself. trusting and loving, right. i have never turned someone away when they ask for my help. even if they dont want to hear what i have to say. even if they love wallowing in their own self pity i continue to try to make them feel better. you wouldnt believe how depressing and realistic people have become. Which leads me to my next point, i am ever the optimist. it seems to go hand in hand with being entirely to trusting. most people call it naivety. call it what you will, when youre at home contemplating suicide because your life sucks, ill be at home with a smile on my face because i know the shittier life is the greater the margin for it to pick up becomes. your life may be awful, for all of your years, but that last day you will still cling to it, because its all we have. and to those who would so easily throw it away, so simply douse the light, i ask you one question, isnt it worth at least one more try? isnt it worth persevering just a little bit longer? what on earth could be so terrible that you want to cut the limitless opportunities that tomorrow has to offer?i dont think there is a reason. hearts break and mend, bank accounts empty and fill, people come and go. there is always a reason to live on. look hard and it will come to you. give your imagination a shot. i imagine the happy ending of every day, and even if it doesnt happen, it could have. life is what youre willing to put into it. off topic again. see? i told you i do it alot. in all actuality when i have to talk about myself there isnt much to say. im not a complicated person. quite the contrary to be sure. everything is in the open. if you want to know something all you need to do is ask me. my childhood, my family, my past loves, anything you could possibly think of, i will answer honestly and most likely with a smile. i will give you my friendship if you but reach for my open arms, i will offer you my help if you should ever need it, I will give you my heart if you truly want it. i would give you my life, if you would but ask for it. I am not exceptional. i am not popular. i am not the person that everyone loves, nor do i claim to love everyone. i am not perfect now, or ever. but i am every bit willing to try and be for you. your best friend, your therapist, your teacher, whatever you may need. ive been called an angel once or twice. i wouldnt buy into that, but i have learned a few lessons from some ive known through life. and with that i am here willing to give it all to you. all you have to do is need it. and say hai! im adam. and im all yours. :D
im not the most charming
im not the most quick witted
im not the best looking
im not the most talented
im not the smartest
im not the strongest
my sense of humor is vulgar, sarcastic, dark, and sometimes dry
i hate alot
i think music is music, not life
i dont like many people
i tend to believe the world fills up with fewer and fewer decent people everyday
i dont think i fall into the group of decent people myself
i can be really depressing
i can be really stupid
i can probably make you cry
but...
that doesnt mean i want to
it doesnt mean i dont try to be the best person i can everyday
it doesnt mean i hate life for being so crappy
it doesnt mean i dont love music and all the feeling that goes into it
it doesnt mean i will instantly hate you
quite the contrary
it means ill be that much more hopeful that you turn out to be an amazing person
it doesnt mean i cant make you laugh
it doesnt mean i wont laugh at you
it doesnt mean i dont smile everyday of my life at so many of the small things
it doesnt mean i wont take anytime out of my day just for you
it doesnt mean i wont stay up with you on the phone because you cant sleep
it doesnt mean i will just ignore you if youre upset
it doesnt mean i wont love you
it just means im adam
it just means i hope you can find it somewhere in youre being to really try to know me.
i think im worth it... maybe...
what should i say about myself. i dont know. im not the most altogether person right now, last i checked there were about 5 different people living in my head. ill go out of my way to be happy around you because i hate being the stupid depressed guy, even though in the end when its just me, thats what i am. ill do my best to make you happy if i like you, and even if i dont like you im not gonna make a point to hurt you. i hate alot of things, i hate alot of people, ive come up with so many preconceived notions of the world its hard not to. i hope you wont hold it against me. life in general was perfect for about 7 months, and now all of a sudden im seeing it for what it really is. so heres all you have to ask yourself if youre interested in talking to me, can you deal with me? if you can, im sure well be amazing friends.
i draw, i put a few pictures up. i go to school, though i cant say i really want to be here at this point. I go to fullsail for computer animation. i wanted to do something creative with the rest of my life so here i am. bad idea. i love creating, but the stupid routine of it all is enough to crush ones dreams pretty badly. yet i persevere. i guess you could call me pretty imaginative, i find myself thinking about nothing at all more than not. i should have been a philosopher. i should have done something alot cheaper... maybe i wouldnt be such a burden. i just want this to be over. just get out into the world and fix everything thats gotten so ridiculous here in my college days. it hasnt been the most enjoyable experience by anymeans. blah blah blah, we all get it im a big fucking emo kid, and i hate myself for it, but on a lighter note, i love you homie. and even if i dont just yet i probably will eventually as long as you want me too. =D
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