A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Alice a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, ''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. ''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''

His mother smiling said to him, ''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.”
Micky Lim "หนูซน" Trusting - 15 years, 10 months, 6 days ago

Then everyone on earth was dead, and waiting to enter Paradise, God
appeared and said:

"I want the men to make two lines."

"One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the
other line for the men who were dominated by their women and I want all
the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles
long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household,
there was only one man.

God said, 'You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be
the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not
fulfilled your purpose!

Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.

With that, God turned to the one man and asked, 'How did you manage to
be the only one in this line?'


And, the man replied, 'My wife told me to stand here.'



Micky Lim "หนูซน" Trusting - 15 years, 11 months, 11 days ago

ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake....

Micky Lim "หนูซน" Trusting - 15 years, 11 months, 25 days ago

I was looking into this 09 with worrying eyes as the shoutings and whistlings intensified when the count zeroed last night. I was supposed to be in a stupid and pathetic B grade movie (Twi***t) but I came out of the cinema to catch that very moment. The crowd was great and the mood was high, celebrities were doing their best to further elevate that adrelinin state. I wished I was in there for the split second...then I went back to grumble at the movie.
2009 is disasterous to most livelihood and unfortunately greater impact to some of the working population. It should hit rock bottom by Q3 but the rebound is unknown as most economists forecasted. Some of these youngsters' parents or elder sibblings may be in the lists...and the lists are getting longer. Maybe these parents had abundant savings to buffer their children from enjoying less for now. The spending spree spured off in end 06 and continuing only by the minor ignorants. They have not seen a tsunami, still thinking of using their surf boards to show off their tricks. This is more prominent in our ancestors land up north, the greater population has never been to a beach. Hope they brought along some means of floatation such as their fat bellies or aired tummies. Somehow, we little red dot had gone through this couple of times quite effortlessly. Most did not even smell it and it's gone. But this time, the magnitude is beyond what history has taught...that's a good reason to panic! Hopefully the situtation will take a miraculous sharp turn within Q2 and save many heads from rolling...mostly will be the working parents of that cheering crowd.
It's holiday today! Let's go out to play and start the worry tomorrow! Maybe there'll be no tomorrow! Happy 2009!!!
PS. This is the first tale I wrote here. I was lazy to do so until recently inspired by the tales produced by my owner. Thanks Miobu!
Micky Lim "หนูซน" Trusting - 15 years, 12 months ago

A little girl asked her father:

'How did the human race appear?'

The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve;

they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.

The mother answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from

which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said,

'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the

human race was created by God,

and Mom said they evolved from monkeys?'

The father answered,

'Well, Dear, it is very simple.

I told you about my side of the family,

and your mother told you about hers.'

Micky Lim "หนูซน" Trusting - 16 years, 17 days ago