1. My husband & I divorced over religious differences - he thought he was God & I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to B when I grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts ........... Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs ... a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
28. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
KAREN "Beery Nice" Playful - 15 years, 4 months, 1 day ago

4 Stages in life:

As u can see, you are left with just one stage, so you better enjoy the third stage like there's no tomorrow for your days are numbered....
KAREN "Beery Nice" Playful - 15 years, 4 months, 5 days ago

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we
started Swearing.'
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you
swear after me, ok?'
'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm The mother walks into the
kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
'Oh, sh *t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops'
WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got
up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, 'And what do
YOU want for breakfast, young man?'

'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be f**king Coco pops

KAREN "Beery Nice" Playful - 15 years, 4 months, 5 days ago

This is the poem:

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,

As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,

"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."

And that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean

If you love someone, tell them.

Don't be afraid to express yourself.

KAREN "Beery Nice" Playful - 15 years, 4 months, 5 days ago

WHAT GOD/GODDESS ARE YOU TEST

Karen is a light goddess


you are the god/goddess of light. you help others in need and the only ones can see you are the ones that need help.

You try your best to defend the people from the harm of the other gods/goddesses

KAREN "Beery Nice" Playful - 15 years, 4 months, 6 days ago