Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control, Paris airport.

"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German." She replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days
Ates Yekta Arsan "Miamo" Tender - 11 years, 11 months, 2 days ago

Ear Infection
This is so true!
They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you
have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is
embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you
tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I
know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy
handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached
the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the
Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in
this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further
with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of
strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!
Ates Yekta Arsan "Miamo" Tender - 11 years, 11 months, 4 days ago

> Ann had lost her husband almost four years ago.


> Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into


> the world.


> Finally, Ann said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.


>


> Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet."


>


> Well, it was an immediate hit.


> They took to one another and after dating for six weeks,


> he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..


> Their first night there, she undressed as he did


> There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in


> his birthday suit.


>


> Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"


>


> She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but


> down there I am still mourning."


>


> He knew he was not getting lucky that night.


> The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the black


> panties, and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black


> condom ..


>


> She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"


>


> He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences"


> _,_._,___


>


>


>
Ates Yekta Arsan "Miamo" Tender - 11 years, 11 months, 23 days ago

> Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She
> writes:
>
> Dear Grand-daughter,
>
> The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
> 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
>
> I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from
> a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer
> meeting.
>
> So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
>
> Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
>
> I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
> thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that
> the light had changed.
>
> It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
> honked, I'd never have noticed.
>
> I found that lots of people love Jesus!
>
> While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
> and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
> God!'
>
> 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'
>
> What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
>
> Everyone started honking!
>
> I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all
> those loving people.
>
> I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
> There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
> yelling something about a sunny beach.
>
> I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
> stuck up in the air.
>
> I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
>
> He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
>
> Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
> and gave him the good luck sign right back.
>
> My grandson burst out laughing.
>
> Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
>
> A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
> they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
>
> I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
> when I noticed the light had changed.
>
> So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
> through the intersection.
>
> I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
> before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
> them after all the love we had shared.
>
> So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
> Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
> for such wonderful folks!!
>
> Will write again soon,
>
> Love, Grandma

______________________________________________
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Ates Yekta Arsan "Miamo" Tender - 11 years, 11 months, 25 days ago

Sex after Death . . .
>
> A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back
> and inform the other if there is sex after death.
> Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
> After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
> True to his word, he made the first contact:
> "Marion ... Marion "
> "Is that you, Bob?"
> "Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
> "That's wonderful! What's it like?"
> "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then
> it's off to the golf course.
> I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of
> more times.
> Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another
> romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of
> the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again.
> Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much
> needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
>
> "Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "No...........I'm a rabbit in Norfolk!
Ates Yekta Arsan "Miamo" Tender - 12 years, 1 month, 2 days ago